Today, family members and/or close friends provide the majority of Home Care. In most family situations, one person assumes the primary role because he or she is closest geographically, closer to the parent emotionally, or a take-charge type of person. While the primary role is probably the most time consuming and stressful, all those involved face similar difficult issues. It can be difficult for adult children to find solutions and assistance that their parents will find acceptable. Deciding on whom will be involved may also be difficult. Immediate family and close friends are obvious choices. More distant relatives, less close friends, neighbors, and community organizations can usually provide only limited support. You might hesitate to ask your sibling for help, fearing he or she will refuse and that confrontation will harm your relationship.

Taking care of a parent can affect all your relationships. You may be more involved with brothers and sisters who previously may have been at the fringes of your life. Your spouse and children may feel neglected. Any existing tension in your marriage is likely to increase. Colleagues at your job may provide a diversion from caregiving. Even if they are sympathetic to your added demands, they still need your work on time. Walking tightropes like these can add to your stress.

One study shows that the average cargiver now devotes 18 hours a week to helping elderly loved ones.²⁸ To balance the demands of work and home, employees often miss business meetings, decline transfers or business trips, come to work late, reduce their hours or take unpaid leave.

Three Unique Services For Home Caregivers Who Need A Break

• Adult Day Care
  Adult Day Care offers structured, comprehensive programs providing a variety of health, social, and other related support services in a protective setting during any part of a day, but less than 24-hour care. Adult day centers generally operate programs during normal business hours five days a week. Some programs offer services in the evenings and on weekends. Adult Day Health Care is a more structured setting that includes medical monitoring, occupational and physical therapy, counseling, support groups for families, etc.
  
  
• Respite Care
  Respite services are intended to relieve care providers who are responsible for the ongoing care of an older person. It is essential for care providers to have regular time off periods to attend to business, enjoy time away, rest and recharge. Overburdened care providers are at risk of becoming isolated from social contacts, or even physically ill. For the older person, respite care can provide an opportunity to socialize with others and receive the care they require. Respite services may sometimes involve overnight care for an extended period of time.
  

• Resort Nursing Care
  A specialized care service usually offered by Home Health Agencies. Resort Nursing Care offers specialized 24 hours, 7 days a week, care services for people who need extra assistance for themselves or companions when traveling. Services may include, hotel reservations, airport pick-up assistance, medical supplies pick-up, wheelchair assistance, medication assistance, bathing, exercise, chore helpers, sightseeing, shopping, Alzheimer’s care and Intermediate care.

The "Sandwich Generation"

When you have both older parents and children who need your time and attention, you may feel caught in the middle and pulled from both sides with conflicting demands. There's little chance to do any task as well as you'd like. There's no time left for you. This increasingly common situation can leave you feeling guilty and inadequate, yet it may not occur to you to ask for help with any of your responsibilities.

Adult children caring for older parents face problems like those above every day. Work is a financial necessity and/or a source of satisfaction for many, yet the responsibilities of caregiving and doing well on the job often conflict. People who want to do both well can be caught in the middle.

Caregiving takes time. As a result, caregivers have less time to spend with other family members and less leisure time for themselves. Many have reported that their responsibilities have caused them to give up vacations, hobbies, or other activities. Very often, it is the daughter caring for older parents as well as children at home who need her time and attention.

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